Triumvirate Moon; Blue Odyssey

I remember it well…

Recently, The Mystic Circles had me read 13 Moons, by Charles Frazier and it was a mighty fine thing it was. As well it should. I'd say Moons is a novel in the Pulitzer class; this historical-fiction gives us a look at the 19th century story of the Trail of Tears, and the events surrounding this debacle.

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A Few TV Shows Which Have Gone the Way

Oh well. Gone the way of all flesh. Let's see. My Name is Earl—gone. So's Life on Mars. And a few others. And on some other fronts? Such as the feast or famine department? Like—NCIS? Oh boy. I've seen so many episodes of NCIS that I've taken to purging myself—I've become bulimic on this show. Oh well.

Breaking Bad

What can I say? I don't know how many shows I've missed so far, but it's on my radar now—I just saw the episode where the guy's head is put on a tortoise and then triggered and blown up by a booby-trap. It sounds a lot like a confession from the lips of a Phillip Dick lunatic--but there it is. Breaking is a good helping of heavy dessert—violence a la mode. Violence to the point where it will eventually strive to stay interesting. 

Don't mean to sound fussy, but how long will the show run before everyone gets tired of such gritty drugged-out details? Finely written, this show feels a little like the Sopranos, just before everyone got tired of seeing everyone getting killed off.  

Life in 1973 on Mars

I've watched a couple more episodes, and not even enough to keep track of which episode or season a particular show is. I'm already hooked. Too bad, because the rumours are that Life on Mars is going to become a version of itself, a thing that exists only in history. Too bad.

Bones

A while back I watched this show a few times and thought—hmm, somewhat pleasant, yet a little strange—sci-fi CSI sprinkled with a dash of anti-protestant anger. Yes? Yessss...

Know what I mean, Vernon?

Lately though, Bones has strayed.

What's that? Don't know what I'm talking about? Oh Ok. Let's say that the stories have imagination. But some of the sub-plots don't hit on all cylinders. Meaning...meaning that Bones has-

...sub-plot-mitosis! Holy plot-o-rama! Hope they're practicing safe-plot, gang! Because if they're not it means the main plot will be pulled a little off to one side. (One-sided! Wink wink, Bones!) Oops! I splashed a little vinegar onto the concrete...

I thought that the real artists were the show's writers and the directors who guide the actors down the show's story-line thus giving the show its symmetry.

Last night's episode found character Angela Montenegro in a lesbian/bi-sexual liplock at one point. I have to admit Angela Montenegro's lip-thang was sexy but when a show does this it veers off into a version of (ready for this?), Sexy Bones!

Hmm.

If the sub-plots don't fit in properly with the main plot, then it's as if the main plot is being turned askew.

As if...

The plot-creature were just sunning itself, casually looking off into the distance and pretending not to be glancing at you out of the corner of its plot-eyes.

Then slightly, ever so slightly mind you...with parted lips it breaths in your ear with that soft metallic plot-voice, "Take me baby! Let me do that voodoo to you that you-do so like me to-do-let me sock it to you like you like me to sock it to you, so very well...

Ach! Another plot strays from the social norms, victim to a brazen sub-plot! And this sub-plot wearing all that salt and vinegar-just like a cheap skirt!

Am I being too much the prude? Huh? I am? Well! I never!

That's beside the point...:*)

Over time, an over-spiced sub-plot eats away at the foundations of the main plot like spilled vinegar eats concrete.

May I be...blunt? Are you in need of some...sexualization? Yes? Well then, enough of this being on the receiving end of prime-time! It's time to dish it back:

Because...because I don't want to beat around the bush and be too quick in coming to the point with useless ejaculations 'cause I lick I mean I like the show just fine and hope you can swallow that because I feel that I just gotta give it to you don't you see because I wouldn't want you to get the short end of the stick because the audience deserves the long strokes and not just the short strokes.

Whew!

Too bad I quit smoking.

Those network execs really are trying to educate me. Yeah, right. They're just trying to-sex me!

What did you say? ...fit my square pegs in your round holes baybee?

Stop that!

Am I hep, or what! Alright. I'll just go back to being an old dog and try to stay wise to those old tricks. You hep?

No Reservations

My name is Joe, and I'm a No Reservations-a-holic. Yep that's right. I-minus the phoney name, am stuck on that ever-so-watchable Travel Channel cook-fest, hosted by Anthony Bourdain. I can't help myself. It may be in the genes...but no, it doesn't matter! It's my fault! I take full responsibility for being hooked on this totally un-boring montage of food-fest-goodness...

Life on Mars

I switched back to the earlier channels last night, and I saw for the first time a show called Life On Mars. I think I've seen pieces of the show before, but I hung around and watched the whole thing this time. Mars is a something else (for now)-a strange piece of television, and half the strangeness is in the title-the show seems to have an Arnold Schwarzenegger Total Recall quality to it; maybe somewhere along the lines of '70's mannerisms transplanted into The X-Files...

I'll have to catch one or two more to see if the pieces come together in a satisfying fashion.

Re - Runs--of House (Again)

Ok, I have to watch a certain channel in my area due to my work schedule, and it's got a few shows I like such as Law & Order, and Burn Notice, and Monk (sometimes), and NCIS, and so on.

And House. (Again).

So I'm stuck with reepeets. But oddly enough, most of the House repeats are good enough that once I surf into 'House territory', I'm too fascinated (or lazy?) to move on to another channel.

Don't know what it is, exactly-the vestments of scenes that stick in the mind like barbs. Such as: when House steps out of the shower after dropping acid, or, when Cameron with the gap in her teeth tries to beguile House by laying a liplock on him, or when Forman is again left standing in astonishment by one of House's oddments, or...

Pure comic release. Or is that relief?

Burn Notice

I can't remember exactly the first time I saw Burn Notice, but it's an enjoyable show. It's a 'half and half' of serious spying with a chuckle thrown in once in a while. Jeffrey Donovan is the spy who got burned and one of his co-stars is Bruce Campbell, formally of ' Brisco County Jr'. fame-remember that one? That was back in the day, huh.

I’ve been waiting for new episodes of Burn Notice to show up, and it’s high time!

Sure, if you’re a genuine spy, then it’s old hat. But for wanabees like me, it’s a big deal-neat things to know, like how to disarm somebody, or, how many places around the house can you stash your 19 guns or, how do you set up a surveillance-these are the things that matter in spy-craft. The good news? You can eat your chips and have all that good spy-stuff delivered to your couch...

Psych--

I wish I had more time to watch this show, but its gravitational field isn't quite strong enough to hold me. Not that I don't like this show-I do. Just that this pleasant collection of schtick, for me, doesn't hold up against a newer episode of History Detectives, or FrontLine, or House, or one of the other channels. For me, even a new Law and Order would win out, for that matter.

The aspect that I do enjoy: Psych seems to poke fun at the very real so-called psychics that work, or think they work for real police departments.

Oh, I almost forgot-MANswers! Is it for real? Yup. It doesn't matter if the info is not the end-all, know-it-all on the guy-scale knowledge base-this show comes close to answering any guy's questions on a broad range of subjects; from throwing a grenade (the time it takes for it to go off), to how you might save a drowning friends life with a fart...to turning your pick-up truck into a hot tub...among other things. How about the absolute minimum size for a bikini before it turns into a charge of indecent exposure? How about: how many weeks could you survive on nothing but beer? Six weeks, apparently. Also, beer guts are not produced by beer, but by diet and lifestyle. Admit it-you've thought of these things before. Well-haven't you? No? Oh. I see-you're a lady...well then, in that case-you'll have to call the Oxygen channel and demand --->"Ladyswers!"

(Com' on girls-after all those years of Dear Abby:)

So I'm watching Real Chance of Love, and I'm trying to figure it out-something along the lines of Paris Hilton runs the Jerry Springer Show, I think. Anyways, plenty of humor: I liked the part where the two girls broke the bed and another girl called 'em heifers. Fantasy! All those delicious women! A pack 'a 'dem women, chasin' those dudes! They're after me, really! Am I dreamin'? At least I'm not stuck with the 'stalker'!

And then there was Best Week Ever, a new looking show hosted by either Michael Colton or John Aboud. Anyways, this is a schhlapschtick-iculous pie in the face, farce-fest, a zany comi-shot about the most silly scene-shots on last weeks telly shows. It's silly! It's ridiculous! It's silli-reeediculous! (I'm so funny! I can't stand it! I'm out of breath! I'm dying! Hey wait. That's not funny.)

NCIS

I remember enjoying an episode of NCIS. I liked it, if for anything else, the sci-fi image of Abby the lab technician, played by Pauley Perrete. She's the candy-striper with the dark hair, the fire engine lipstick; the pigtails-the miniskirt.

The structure of NCIS has the action going on in two different, yet complimentary worlds (reminds me a little of Law and Order): there's the investigative beat, the gum-shoes, and in the other room, there's the laboratory.

While Abby and Duckey (played by David McCallum-remember him?) are peering through microscopes, the other bunch of crime-fighting-keystone kops are solving our crime for us. And jostling in the crime-fighting arena, we have top-dog Gibbs, and agent Dinozzo; these two are played by Mark Harmon and Michael Weatherly-they're straight-man and cut-up comic-I like the way Gibbs can read agent Dinozzo's mind and occasionally give him a slap across the head..:)

The Pickup Artist

I watched The Pickup Artist for the first time last night, and-it's painfully delicious-something of a 21st century oldie but goodie-all your classic pickup lines and your pickup techniques, this, with generous dollops of pie-in-the-face thrown at you; it's all set within the reality TV framework-there's some awful good voyeurism going on here, kids. I've done my own share of attempted pick-up-dweebery in my days, and I feel really sorry for that group of nerds-all those stuttering bunch of clumbsies who try to master their fears while they stutter the pick-up talk, and stumble through the pick-up walk--

...that reminds me: I'll have to do an opinion piece on what would happen if you put Abby the technician and Dr. House in the same room together...we just might have another new TV show...

There is one measurement of how good a Telly Vision show is: the length of time before your thumb actuates the remote, making show # 1 go bye-bye, and ringing in show #2. And if #2 isn't strong enough to pull you in, the process is repeated-how long you stay at any one show, is effectively its score. If you stay through the whole show, then wow!-that must mean the show was great! Or else your brain is fried, and you don't care what you're watching. In that case-pop that control again! A couple of shows that have stalled me for a few minutes, are Burn Notice, and House.

I've noticed that some of the better shows have a couple things in common-one is humor (schlap-schtick) and another is tension.

House

I like house. Or is it House. There is one thing rather disconcerting thing, though, and that is the hospital/death/disease aspect of the show-I know it affects some people more than others-some have a higher tolerance for surgery shots, guts and all: as I get older, I seem to have a little less tolerance for the occasional spewing of blood and guts.

Dr. House knows how to troubleshoot an illness; perhaps more importantly for the show, House knows how to get his team going off in different directions, while working them all toward a common goal-hitting on the right solution. House knows how to motivate; he simply uses his status as a raving jerk to push people away from him and towards a correct prognosis.

House has to be the darling of all skeptics down through the ages. There is surely a list of societal anchors that most of us believe in; the good Dr. House simply does not fly with any of these high ideals. Or he says he doesn't. Such things as happiness, or kindness, or God, or other similar 'fuzzy' nice things. Ah, Dr. House, you're such a bad boy! My prognosis: 1 and a half thumbs up.

The Cleaner

I liked The Cleaner. It doesn't have the degree of white-hot action that some shows do, but it does have a high-stakes feel to it, because loosing at addiction means slow, soul-stealing, miserable death-something the protagonist seems to play quite well. Wish I could say more about this one.

My Name Is Earl

That was a good one, while it lasted. According to the Wiki site, the show doesn't start back up until later this month, due to an earlier writer's strike. The premise is that Earl (a former burglar) is supposed to go around and straighten up all of the messes he has made in his life. This is a solid premise for any show, and in the case of this comedy, works. One of the episodes I remember, involved Earl and his brother ending up at a kind of, 'Green Hippy Commune'-I guess that's what you might call it. Anyway, this episode seemed to be an opportunity for the show's producer/writers to poke gentle jabs at the environmental/green movement, while subliminally informing everyone that environmentalism is a cool thing. The producer succeeded, and succeeds, with both the message and the show.

Raising The Bar 

Frankly, Raising the Bar is not one of the 'Improved' TV shows I hag in mind-let's say the bar did not go high enough to fulfill my expectations. When I saw this show a couple weeks ago, I was disappointed with Mr. Botchco; I mean, Bochco, because I think he's capable of much better than, "Big city lawyer fights against American Injustice-(one for the gipper, yeah!)"

I think maybe Mr. Bochco is running short of cash and he's accepted big bucks for a show that he knows ain't going to last that long. I am not impressed with Raising the Bar, either with the premise (worn out), or the formulaic layout of the show (worn out).

According to the show's premise, Our hot-shot-young-lawyer who fights-injustice is full of angst about the inevitable injustice perpetrated on his client: in the episode I watched, his client was Black-you guessed it-presumed guilty because he was black. That was probably true twenty years ago. Today, it's a stretch to believe a judge could be stupid enough to convict a Black man before the trial even ended-unless of course, the judge is one of those morons so out of touch that it insults your and my, intelligence.

Did I mention that our young hero lawyer is so full of angst that there are deep wells of un-plumbed truths about his clients? That he raises his head high and screams,

"Stop the madness! You cheaters! You unjust people you! You, you...You!"

Of course, our young lawyer can take care of it. He has the long hair, he has the suits that fit, he's hip, yeah, he's got to be cool. He's soooo, got to be down with it. Probably smokes dope, huh? The good stuff. Yeah. Party on, dude! Truly a renaissance man for all seasons! This of course is the fantasy aspect of modern TV: the protagonist is someone that you, as viewer find yourself inhabiting; and TV network bosses bet on the number of people pulled in by any particular show's fantasy-appeal-rating.

In the real world, most everybody who ends up in court is guilty. Problem is, guilt is not exactly a go, no-go state, as far as penalties/punishment goes; the penalty phase of a trial should be based on degree of guilt. But how can it. Only God himself really knows the true degree, not some idiot judge or lawyer-even the defendant is usually too dishonest with himself to know the degree of his own guilt. So in this regard, our judicial system is a fouled up mess, indeed-there aren't many Solomons around to decide cases.

Don't know about you, but I think the state of the art of TV viewing has moved up a bit. Not to say that I totally agree with the premise or the story-lines of some of these shows, because there's-(hmm, how do I put this...)-there's something in 'em that has a certain kind of fascination.

What that particular fascination is, is what I'd like to explore.

A list of some of the new crop is:

• The Closer
• Saving Grace
• Bones
• Mad Men-

That's from the top of my head. There are a few other, older shows of high quality that've been around for a while: Law and Order comes to mind.

The one to start with seems to be Saving Grace. To my mind it is a combination of a higher quality show with an equally high hyping by the network(s) to puff this show to potential viewers. I admire some elements of Saving Grace, but by and large I don’t like it. This contradiction is matched one for one: I admire the artistic random mood-twists that fill in the plot; I don’t care for the unrealistic character of Holly Hunter, the bull-riding, hard-chargin’, in-your-face police detective, the cop with the slight smirk, the small grin she carries like the spare 32’ you strap to your ankle, you big-city detective, you!

Holly’s got a gallon of testosterone whipsawing around in those ice-cool veins, she’s got the big-city wise-guy brains to get the job done-and you’d better stay out of her way, pal!

Thing is, she’s so small(!). If some really big dude were to get a hold of her; well, she might be strong for her size, but realistically, there are people out there who could (and would) pull her arms and legs out. By the roots. It’s a damn bad world out there in some places.

So Saving Grace is an unrealistic fantasy-yet knowing this, I still feel drawn in, somehow. There are gritty parts to the show, and interestingly this contrasts to the resident angel. But the angel seems to be a little on the gritty side himself. An interesting counterpoint, don't you think...so many things going on at once-I like watching this show even though...

I don’t know-there's something, somewhere off in the periphery of my vision...I'm not sure what it is…it might be my angel.

The Closer

A note about The Closer. If you watch this at all, you know that the lovely, the talented, the wacky Kyra Sedgwick headlines the roll of a wacky genius deputy inspector in Los Angeles. Not wild and crazy mind you, just-well-I'm not sure, actually...

She seems somewhat absent-minded. Silly-but not sassy;  super feminine. She runs a murder task force and she solves those murders.

I'll nevuh leeeve a case unsolved agyain. Sigh...

Well shuck my grits! The inconsistency of all this somehow draws me in. It's as if, considering all the depressing things going on in the world of crime and murder, of serial killers and maniacs-after all that, she just bumbles right into one case, solves it, and sashays on to the next. I don't know exactly what it is...something heavy, yet light as a feather at the same time...