Morality Dept 

Who Shot the Easter Bunny?

Apparently, the [Easter Bunny] is not welcome in Walnut Creek, CA. And as I’ve learned recently, the above named denizen of the Easterlies has been disowned and sent packing from St. Paul, Minnesota, as well. I have a sense that something is a little askew, when traditions and beliefs, centuries in the making, are being disposed of like so many candy wrappers. From on high someone makes a decree. The public consciousness changes. Shoulders are being looked over. And behavior changes. It must be nice to be elevated to the status of social law-giver – extolling oneself as  newage world-shaper. And thus, another vote is taken and counted. The gavel sounds: the newest ever-so-un-easy proposal becomes law of the PC land. This latest in the gender-neutral, brave-new-world has taken its place. The newly crowned belief-law strides onto the stage, making its presence known.

The accomplishments of the new group-think is quite simple: they do because they can – a political-little-engine that could. Pot-shots are taken by anyone offended at anything concerning the foundations of the west. Here’s the sticking point: why can’t the PC's go after the more unsavory aspects of our collective culture-beliefs? Such as those things which propagate crime and waste? Why holidays?

Who makes the rules which decide what does or does not harmonize with Johnny-PC’s little world. What’s next in PC thinking? Presidents’ day, arbor day? Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, or Labor day? How about the 24 hour day itself?

As you know, denying or disavowing a thing means sending it into oblivion: like creating an un-definition. The target in this diabolical scheme was planned and specific. And now, we are left with a black hole in the shape of a bunny. The alarm is sounded – the call goes out to all good citizens of conscience. Before the noble beast was vanquished, it was seen wiping a tear from its furry cheek. Demand justice!

Is this a case of premeditated bunny-cide? Depraved indifference to bunny-life, perhaps? It is murder most foul! There has to be accountability for this act of reprehension! This wanton act of lawlessness should be cause for alarm in all right-thinking people! I ask you – who slew this innocuous harbinger of spring and [Easter]-egg hunts?

Ah well, I suppose these portentous questions shall have to be haggled over by the lawyers. In the meantime, the spirit of the [Easter Bunny] is on the lam. The nerve of those holiday mashers!

The outlawing of the [Easter Bunny] can only mean one thing – the  ushering in of the anti-easter bunny! At least, such is the case in these two towns (for now). A new age of darkness can only spread. Demand your rights, for if the onerous spirit of this misshapen deed raises its monstrous head, then a sinister tone of suspicion will peal across the land. You would be left to tremble in your own home as you wait for the inevitable knock on your door. And waiting on the other side of the door?  The anti-bunny himself!

Rolling a toothpick in his mouth and grinning that crooked smile his. All too ready to grab you by the collar and let you have it, sucking the very life out you! Deflating everything we hold dear; leaving us to bewail the day when we loosed our grip on the helm of life and allowed ourselves to drift. Such is the slow and subtle descent into despair when we allow our scruples to be dulled by the graspings and snivelings of PC Pete. Weeping wretchedness, how could we have allowed such a thing!

In the meantime, for the sake of brevity, we are all consigned to use the term “Un-Easter Bunny”. Live to fight another day, I always say. To do otherwise only invites a visit from the PC police. And this, of course only leads to the inevitable trip downtown – you know the rest: left standing truly alone as you face the bench.

A thin and twisted judge, sneers at you from his perch. Wrinkled lines on a pale face scowl as a boney finger accuses you, his eyes are gleaming and mocking you from a skull capped by wisps of white hair. And all the while you are choking back tears of defeat and humiliation as you are made a spectacle of. Forced to recite, you mumble, “Yes, your honor, I’m a PC too…”. Of course, the alternative is to face certain fines and jail-time. You do know, do you not, that jail-time in this scenario, is really time in a political correctness re-education camp.

Update: Since starting this, I have had the opportunity to visit with Great Egg of Enlightenment, and received the following message: the Great Bunny (who lives in all of us) – is not pleased.

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